Friday, 4 September 2015

She doesn't know how special she is

Lily starts school tomorrow....

I've been the textbook mother these last few weeks getting Lily ready. I got her uniform weeks and weeks ago before the 'mad rush'. We've been shoe shopping, we've got book bags and PE bags, we've been doing extra reading and practicing writing and I've been telling her how amazing it's going to be. 

She's so excited.....but I'm terrified! 

I know she's going to be fine. I know she's going to enjoy it. I'm not worried about her. She's bright and bubbly. She's polite and kind. She will love every second. I'm worried because I'm loosing the only person in the whole world who truly knows how to make me feel normal. 

What am I going to do on my own? Yes, Lily has been to nursery since she was 6 months old but never all week and I've always either been at college or worked while she's been at nursery. She's my rock. She's helped me through it all, but she's growing up and she's becoming more and more independent.  

This is it, the end of just her and me. The end of our quiet days out, the end of our all day colouring and making dens and playing in puddles while the dog goes mad. 

The end of my stand-by cuddles when I'm sad, the end of our snuggles under the duvet for hours in the morning. 

I have to let her go I have to learn to do it by myself. She can't hold my hand forever. 

I'm dependant on her, I need her but I have to let her go. 

After all, life goes on