Thursday, 24 September 2015

Pro life? I call it lack of empathy

For some reason, recently I've had quite a few ''pro-life'' things pop up around me. On Facebook, Twitter, media reports, even messages from people who have read this blog. With the exception of the direct messages it has to be coincidence, right? Or is it just I'm noticing them more? Have they always been there and I just scrolled past with no thought to how it may one day affect me....because now it does. 

I truly believe one of the main ingredients of being a good person is empathy. Having the ability to put yourself in someone else's shoes, to understand the way they feel and reasons for their actions. I don't believe anyone ''pro-life'' has that ability. 


I know it's hard, if not impossible to change the mind of someone that is so adamant that what they believe is right. And if I'm honest, in this case, I can't be bothered to try. I read these posts/articles and I try to understand why they feel the need to make women in such a heartbreaking situation feel like what they are doing is wrong. 

In some ways I get it. I understand the reason behind their logic. But it's not as simple as 1+1=2. There are hundreds and hundreds of reasons behind abortion. I've lived through one myself, my son was incompatible with life. He had so many anomalies he would not have survived. What about the ladies who themselves wouldn't survive the pregnancy? Or ladies who have been raped? Or ladies who are in no way financially stable to bring up a child? It's not just a case of that woman doesn't care. She cares!! She is doing what is best. In many cases (especially with the late abortions) the baby was very much wanted. That decision is not one to be taken lightly. 

Why not look around you, outside the box. The care system is over loaded with children that deserve to be loved and to have a happy home, should that really be added too? To the ladies who felt they were unable to bring up a child for whatever reason, you made the right decision for you. 

I pity these ''pro life'' people with the inability to feel for another human being. Empathy can heal people, it can create lasting relationships and make existing relationships stronger. I hope none of these people find themselves in a situation where they have to make this choice, but if they ever do, I believe the majority of those people would change their mind. 

For me personally, I accept that there will always be divide in the world. I accept the belief of these people. What I don't accept is the belittling, the name calling and the harassing. It disgusts me that human beings can be so vile towards one another. These ladies, me included, did what was right for them. Their own bodies. Their own families. 

To anyone ''pro life'' reading this why not just try to have some empathy. Why not try reading or listening to other people's situations and reasons and just try to understand why. 

To all the ladies who, for whatever reason, ended a pregnancy, you have nothing to be ashamed of. You did what you felt was best. Don't let others who just don't understand put you down. You made one of the hardest decisions, you are strong. X